I've never been a good waiter. And I'm not sorry for that. I don't want to be patient. How many days can we afford to give away? This life. Each day is so precious. But I'm not stupid. We must be careful. These are serious times. So now what?
I remember when I was freshly viewing my twenties - all things were possible - or we were going to make them that way. Sitting in a circle of Minnesota friends, gathered together solely for the purpose of what could be - we dreamed aloud. "We should live like the Europeans," he said. None of us had been anywhere, but we had seen it on screens, read it in books - this European lifestyle. "Yes!" we all agreed. Siestas and wine. Meals so slow and so filled with family and friends. Dark coffee and intelligent conversations. Art and books and discussion. Creations of why not now! "Yes to it all." We raised our hands, and probably our glasses and smiled one collective smile and sigh. A sigh that brought the realization, to us all, and so someone had to say it, what we were all thinking... "I guess we could do that here."
I guess we could do that here. Now. In a pandemic world with no travel - we could travel. We could open three jars of marmalade at breakfast, like they have in the hotels. What were we waiting for? Nothing could be wasted - if we enjoyed it. We could wear clothes that begged to be photographed and smiles that did the same. What are you saving that dress for? It was meant to be worn. Even if it's only in your kitchen. There is no only now - there is the KITCHEN. My life will not be an unworn dress, an unplayed piano. Yes, we are in different times, but our dreams can be the same. Our kitchens can be hotel breakfasts. Books can be read. Art can be made. Dresses worn and candles lit. There is nothing to wait for. And we can discuss and laugh and cry and be moved - for that is what travel is - being moved. Today our hearts and minds and hopes and dreams can travel. And yes, I believe we will all move about someday - and someday soon - but for now, we can't give up our wanderings - because I guess, I know - we can do that here. No passport required.
Someday I will write that book - or not - but I will never quit writing. And I will tell you that I'm dressed all in purple for no reason, with new shoes as I write this. We had croissants and homemade bread and jam and lattes for breakfast. Multiple jars of jam are open and we are happy. We are living. I think of where I have been, come from, going to, and I am moved. I am moved to tears that laugh and drop in pools of waters splashed. I can do this here. We can do this. Here.